I’m sick

I live with a chronic illness, which to some people means that I’m “sick” all the time. Personally, I don’t view my diabetes as a sickness.

However, I AM sick.

Sick of:

• Living my life by numbers
• Having to explain the mechanics of diabetes over and over
• People thinking that my illness prevents me from doing great things
• People thinking that my illness prevents me from doing normal things
• People thinking that my illness gets me special treatment
• People saying “you can’t eat that”
• People asking what’s beeping or whose phone is that when an alarm or alert sounds
• Having alarms and alerts sound all. the. time.
• Sticking needles into my body

• Worrying about my devices falling off
• Paying a fortune for life saving/life sustaining medication
• Having to prove on a regular basis that my incurable disease hasn’t been cured yet
• Having an incurable disease
• Seeing my disease cured in mice but never humans
• Getting treatment and cure recommendations of cinnamon, apple cider vinegar, okra water, etc
• Hearing, “But if you just eat right and watch your numbers, you’ll be fine. Right?”
• Answering the question, “Does diabetes run in your family?”
• Doctors diagnosing people with “diabetes” and not saying what type or explaining what that means
• Having to educate the newly diagnosed with all types of diabetes because the medical industry fails to do so
• Explaining carbs vs sugar
• Turning down “sugar free” stuff
• Turning down diet sodas
• Scheduling, attending and paying for numerous extra specialist appointments that people with healthy pancreases don’t
• Eating the whole kitchen when I have a low blood sugar
• Feeling like utter crap when I have high blood sugar
• Trying to determine if different feelings/sensations are related to blood sugar or something else
• Keeping marshmallows in my nightstand
• Peeing on tiny strips to test for ketones
• Only being able to buy ketone strips in large quantities so I end up using 2 or 3 and throwing out 47 of them after they’ve expired
• Knowing what ketones are
• Worrying about medical shipments being delivered to the wrong address, being stolen off the porch or being left out in extreme temperatures
• Worrying about medical shipments not arriving on time
• Feeling guilty that I have the means to get the medicine and devices that I need when others may not
• Being asked “What did you do?” For high and low numbers
• Having 1/2 my phone apps be related to diabetes and health
• Not being able to secure decent life insurance
• Wondering if this disease is doing damage to my eyes, kidneys and nerves
• People being grossed out by what I have to do to take care of myself
• Educating healthcare professionals on various points of diabetes that they should already know
• Having to carry a large purse to hold all of my extra medical stuff
• Having to carry a little bag around at the gym to hold my critical medical stuff
• Explaining why diabetes jokes aren’t funny
• Feeling guilty for chuckling at the few diabetes jokes that strike me as funny
• Feeling guilty for not advocating enough
• Feeling guilty for talking about my disease enough
• Fighting to get the actual type of insulin I need
• Explaining why Wal-Mart insulin is not the answer to the insulin pricing crisis
• Explaining that diabetes is a serious disease
• Trying to make it look like diabetes is manageable
• Being worried that my nieces and nephews (and siblings) are at risk for getting this disease and that their parents may not recognize the symptoms
• Knowing that this thing could kill me
• Hearing that “At least it’s not cancer”
• Having everything I eat be a number
• Needing to not eat when I’m hungry
• Needing to eat when I’m not hungry
• Having a messed up relationship with food
• Having extra hurdles to losing weight
• Being prescribed medications that make me gain weight
• Non medical switching
• Always having to think about diabetes

I could go on, but I think I’ll stop this list at 60 items. When you consider anyone who lives with ANY chronic illness, know that there are challenges and struggles that they deal with ever moment of every day that you likely know nothing about. Support them by trying to understand, learning what you can about their illness, listening to them, supporting them and trusting them on their limits and abilities.